VALIANT FOR THE TRUTH
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MUTUAL DUTIES OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES TOWARDS EACH OTHER
BIBLE STUDY NOTES
PART II
FIFTHLY, IT IS YOUR SOLEMN DUTY BEFORE GOD TO LIVE TOGETHER IN PEACE:
First see your great necessity in avoiding conflict in your marriage.
SEVEN POINTS TO CONSIDER SHOWING THE GREAT NECESSITY OF AVOIDING DISSENSION IN YOUR MARRIAGE:
1. The duty of marriage requires unity.
2. Seek peace as division upsets.
3. Fighting chills love.
Proverbs 19:13 A foolish son [is] the calamity of his father: and the contentions of a wife [are] a continual dropping.
4. This division disrupts the whole family Life.
5. This division makes you unfit to worship GOD.
Matthew 5:23 Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift.
I Samuel 15:22 And Samuel said, Hath the LORD [as great] delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices, as in obeying the voice of the LORD? Behold, to obey [is] better than sacrifice, [and] to hearken than the fat of rams.
James 1:20-21 For the wrath of man worketh not the righteousness of God. Wherefore lay apart all filthiness and superfluity of naughtiness, and receive with meekness the engrafted word, which is able to save your souls.
Wrath and Bitterness do not bring about the fruit of Holiness - You cannot pray together--You cannot be mutual helpers of one another's soul. It will be a cancer in your heart causing your eyes to be blinded to the duty of love to one another and driving you from worship.
6. If you are at odds with each other you cannot manage your family properly.
Matthew 12:25 And Jesus knew their thoughts, and said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand:
Mark 3:25 And if a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.
Luke 11:17 But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house [divided] against a house falleth. -- Your children will learn from your examples -- the lack of respect you have for one another will bring the same lack of respect in your children as they follow your example.
7. It will give Satan and advantage. --- A kingdom divided cannot stand.
James 1:13 Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
I Corinthians 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except [it be] with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
Job 2:9 Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.
Ephesians 4:26-27 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil.
Ephesians 4:25-32 Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbour: for we are members one of another. Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with [his] hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Matthew Henry:
Eph 4:25-28 Notice the particulars wherewith we should adorn our Christian profession. Take heed of every thing contrary to truth. No longer flatter or deceive others. God's people are children who will not lie, who dare not lie, who hate and abhor lying. Take heed of anger and ungoverned passions. If there is just occasion to express displeasure at what is wrong, and to reprove, see that it be without sin. We give place to the devil, when the first motions of sin are not grievous to our souls; when we consent to them; and when we repeat an evil deed. This teaches that as sin, if yielded unto, lets in the devil upon us, we are to resist it, keeping from all appearance of evil. Idleness makes thieves. Those who will not work, expose themselves to temptations to steal. Men ought to be industrious, that they may do some good, and that they may be kept from temptation. They must labour, not only that they may live honestly, but that they may have to give to the wants of others. What then must we think of those called Christians, who grow rich by fraud, oppression, and deceitful practices! Alms, to be accepted of God, must not be gained by unrighteousness and robbery, but by honesty and industry. God hates robbery for burnt-offerings.
Hodge: To give place to: to get out of the way of, give occasion or advantage. Do not cherish anger or allow Satan to take advantage of your being angry. Anger, when cherished, gives the tempter great power over us, as it furnishes a motive to yield to his evil suggestions.
Eph 4:32: CHRASTOI: good kind, furnish what is needed.
John Calvin: Before our heart is filled with the poison of hatred, anger must be dislodged in good time.
PIKROS, Bitterness: Sharp as an arrow, pungent to the taste, disagreeable and then venomous. In its figurative sense Pikros means: corroding acts on the mind as poison does on the body, or on the minds of others as venom does on their bodies.
II Corinthians 2:11 Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.
James 4:7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
I Peter 5:8 Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil, as a roaring lion, walketh about, seeking whom he may devour:
Now see some HELPS to avoid division and dissension in your marriage.
1. Love each other dearly. Richard Baxter - Keep up your love.
Proverbs 17:1 Better [is] a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices [with] strife.
Proverbs 17:17 A friend loveth at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.
Romans 14:13 Let us not therefore judge one another any more: but judge this rather, that no man put a stumbling block or an occasion to fall in [his] brother's way.
Leviticus 19:18 Thou shalt not avenge, nor bear any grudge against the children of thy people, but thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself: I [am] the LORD.
Psalms 133:1 {A Song of degrees of David.} Behold, how good and how pleasant [it is] for brethren to dwell together in unity!
Proverbs 15:17 Better [is] a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith.
Romans 12:10 [Be] kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honour preferring one another;
Romans 14:19 Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another.
Romans 15:1 We then that are strong ought to bear the infirmities of the weak, and not to please ourselves.
I Corinthians 13:4-7 Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up, Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
2. Put pride to death - die to self - die to self-love, self-worth, self-esteem, self-affection, self-acceptance, self-worth, and selfish selfisms.
Baxter: More than the occasion itself the heart brings about dissension.
Luke 9:23 And he said to [them] all, If any [man] will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross daily, and follow me.
Psalms 101:5 Whoso privily slandereth his neighbour, him will I cut off: him that hath an high look and a proud heart will not I suffer.
Proverbs 16:5 Every one [that is] proud in heart [is] an abomination to the LORD: [though] hand [join] in hand, he shall not be unpunished.
Proverbs 21:4 An high look, and a proud heart, [and] the plowing of the wicked, [is] sin.
Proverbs 28:25 He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat.
Matthew 23:12 And whosoever shall exalt himself shall be abased; and he that shall humble himself shall be exalted.
I Peter 5:6 Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time:
PRIDE HINDERS SEEKING AFTER GOD:
Psalms 10:4 The wicked, through the pride of his countenance, will not seek [after God]: God [is] not in all his thoughts.
Hosea 7:10 And the pride of Israel testifieth to his face: and they do not return to the LORD their God, nor seek him for all this.
PRIDE BRINGS STRIFE AND CONTENTION:
Proverbs 13:10 Only by pride cometh contention: but with the well advised [is] wisdom.
Proverbs 28:25 He that is of a proud heart stirreth up strife: but he that putteth his trust in the LORD shall be made fat.
3. Remember that you are both must war against to the weakness of sinful flesh and don't be overly surprised when some infirmity rears its ugly head.
Jeremiah 17:9 The heart [is] deceitful above all [things], and desperately wicked: who can know it?
Psalms 51:5 Behold, I was shapen in iniquity, and in sin did my mother conceive me.
Psalms 53:1 The fool hath said in his heart, [There is] no God. Corrupt are they, and have done abominable iniquity: [there is] none that doeth good. God looked down from heaven upon the children of men, to see if there were [any] that did understand, that did seek God. Every one of them is gone back: they are altogether become filthy; [there is] none that doeth good, no, not one.
Proverbs 28:26 He that trusteth in his own heart is a fool: but whoso walketh wisely, he shall be delivered.
Romans 3:23 For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God;
Romans 7:24 O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
I John 1:8 If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.
4. Remember that you are one-flesh and be not more offended at your spouse than you are at yourself for sin.
Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
James 1:19 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, slow to wrath:
Ecclesiastes 7:9 Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
Proverbs 14:11 The house of the wicked shall be overthrown: but the tabernacle of the upright shall flourish.
Proverbs 10:19 In the multitude of words there wanteth not sin: but he that refraineth his lips [is] wise.
5. Discuss and agree together to bear with one another when one of you will lose his temper with the other.
Do not answer wrath with wrath! Do not provoke with your words and increase the heat. Your job is to help him/her and not to hurt him/her.
Ephesians 4:2 With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;
I Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, [and] is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
I Peter 3:9 Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.
6. Do not forget that you must live together until death.
Ecclesiastes 9:9 Live joyfully with the wife whom thou lovest all the days of the life of thy vanity, which he hath given thee under the sun, all the days of thy vanity: for that [is] thy portion in [this] life, and in thy labour which thou takest under the sun.
Romans 7:2 For the woman which hath an husband is bound by the law to [her] husband so long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead, she is loosed from the law of [her] husband.
7. Avoid quarreling over your families.
Genesis 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.
ALSO, avoid quarreling over the state of your family financially.
Slothfulness brings about want and OVERWORKING can bring about impatience. Both may cause quarreling and dissension -- there is an impatience involved because of the lack of skill exercised in managing your affairs.
Slothfulness:
Proverbs 19:15 Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger.
Ecclesiastes 10:18 By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through.
OVERWORK:
Ecclesiastes 4:8 There is one [alone], and [there is] not a second; yea, he hath neither child nor brother: yet [is there] no end of all his labour; neither is his eye satisfied with riches; neither [saith he], For whom do I labour, and bereave my soul of good? This [is] also vanity, yea, it [is] a sore travail.
BAXTER on Slothfulness and Overworking: Avoid theses occasions if you would avoid the sin, and see that ye be not unfurnished of patience, to bear that which cannot be avoided.
8. When angry, especially sinfully so, Control your tongue. Don't speak words you will later regret. IF you cannot control your anger at least control your tongue.
Galatians 5:15 But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another.
James 3:5,6,8 Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell. But the tongue can no man tame; [it is] an unruly evil, full of deadly poison.
MANTON on James 3:7: The cure is difficult. But the tongue can no man tame -- no man of himself and not wholly here.
Proverbs 21:23 Whoso keepeth his mouth and his tongue keepeth his soul from troubles.
NOTES TAKEN FROM THOMAS MANTON COMMENTARY ON JAMES:
Jam 3:5 - The tongue is small in bulk but of great use as a rudder is to a boat or a bridle to riding a horse.
BOASTING: 1) It is the usual sin of the tongue, this is a member that most of all serveth pride.
2) This is usually the sin of those that have not command of their spirits and actions. Psalms 12:3 The LORD shall cut off all flattering lips, [and] the tongue that speaketh proud things: Proverbs 14:3 In the mouth of the foolish [is] a rod of pride: but the lips of the wise shall preserve them.
TRUE GRACE HUMBLETH - FALSE PUFFETH UP
Great inconveniences come from the abuse of so small a member. "A little Fire" It begins with a spark. Proverbs 26:21 [As] coals [are] to burning coals, and wood to fire; so [is] a contentious man to kindle strife.
Jam 3:6:-the power of the tongue to hurt is very great. As the world is full of all kinds of things, so the tongue of all kinds of sins.
OBSERVATIONS MADE BY THOMAS MANTON:
OBS. A) There is a resemblance between a evil tongue and fire:
1) For the heat of it: It is an instrument of wrath and contention. (see Proverbs 17:27 He that hath knowledge spareth his words: [and] a man of understanding is of an excellent spirit. and Proverbs 16:27 An ungodly man diggeth up evil: and in his lips [there is] as a burning fire.)
2) For the danger of it: It kindleth a great burning...Where it prevaileth, it soon turneth houses into a wilderness.
3) For the scorching: Fire is an active element and leaveth a great sense of pain -- so do reproaches like living coals.
4) It is kindled in Hell: Zeal a Holy fire from heaven -- This from hell. A tongue set on fire by Hell shall be set on fire IN HELL....Though wrath boil, keep anger from being a scorching fire in your tongue.
OBS. B) A World of Sin
We induce ourselves to sin and seduce others to sin. Again we may consider the ingratitude of man. Our tongue is our glory; Psalms 108:1 O God, my heart is fixed; I will sing and give praise, even with my glory. It is the member by which we discover and show forth our reason; it filleth us for commerce. Speech maketh a man a sociable creature; Yet there is a world of iniquity in the tongue.
OBS. C) And defileth, Sin is such a filthiness that it is ashamed of itself.
OBS. D) Tongue Sins do much defile. They defile others. We communicate evil to others, either by carnal suggestions, or provoke them to evil by our passions. They defile ourselves-- we say what is not true or speak unduly of anothers sin.
OBS. E) Other sins decay with age, this many times increaseth.
9. Let the calm spouse speak and reason with the other according to God's good pleasure, glory and wisdom. Saying "God is not pleased with us in this. Our Father in heaven does not approve. We shall be guilty before God in this. We cannot pray together as we should when we behave thus to one another"
Proverbs 15:18 A wrathful man stirreth up strife: but [he that is] slow to anger appeaseth strife.
Matthew 5:9 Blessed [are] the peacemakers: for they shall be called the children of God.
Psalms 85:8 I will hear what God the LORD will speak: for he will speak peace unto his people, and to his saints: but let them not turn again to folly.
10. Confess to one another.
Ephesians 4:32 And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
James 5:16 Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much. Note: "One to Another", Mutual Duty.
Confession is an act of mortification and breeds a dislike of sin -- Making Sin the more bitter in rememberance.
SIXTHLY, YOU MUST HELP ONE ANOTHER IN LOVE, WORSHIP, AND OBEIDEANCE TO GOD.
1. To neglect the soul of your spouse is NOT LOVE.
II Corinthians 2:4 For out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved, but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you.
II Corinthians 12:15 And I will very gladly spend and be spent for you; though the more abundantly I love you, the less I be loved.
I Thessalonians 2:8 So being affectionately desirous of you, we were willing to have imparted unto you, not the gospel of God only, but also our own souls, because ye were dear unto us.
And what of those that not only do not help but hinder the salvation and holiness of each other:
I Kings 11:4 For it came to pass, when Solomon was old, [that] his wives turned away his heart after other gods: and his heart was not perfect with the LORD his God, as [was] the heart of David his father.
NOTE: EVE was Adam's tempter. I Timothy 2:14 And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Genesis 3:12 And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest [to be] with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat.
Acts 5:2 And kept back [part] of the price, his wife also being privy [to it], and brought a certain part, and laid [it] at the apostles' feet.
Job 2:9 Then said his wife unto him, Dost thou still retain thine integrity? curse God, and die.
2. You are not living according to the goal and purpose of marriage if you are not helping each other's souls.
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
I Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with [them] according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
Ephesians 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. Note: the end of your life must also be the end of your relations.
3. If you neglect one another's souls, what enemies you really are! You are preparing for everlasting sorrow! You should be preparing for your joyful meeting in heaven.
I Thessalonians 5:11 Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.
Ephesians 4:16 From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.
Hebrews 12:15 Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble [you], and thereby many be defiled;
I Corinthians 7:5 Defraud ye not one the other, except [it be] with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.
Colossians 2:19 And not holding the Head, from which all the body by joints and bands having nourishment ministered, and knit together, increaseth with the increase of God.
Genesis 35:2 Then Jacob said unto his household, and to all that [were] with him, Put away the strange gods that [are] among you, and be clean, and change your garments:
Genesis 35:4 And they gave unto Jacob all the strange gods which [were] in their hand, and [all their] earrings which [were] in their ears; and Jacob hid them under the oak which [was] by Shechem.
Leviticus 19:17 Thou shalt not hate thy brother in thine heart: thou shalt in any wise rebuke thy neighbour, and not suffer sin upon him.
Numbers 16:27 So they gat up from the tabernacle of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, on every side: and Dathan and Abiram came out, and stood in the door of their tents, and their wives, and their sons, and their little children.
Numbers 16:32 And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that [appertained] unto Korah, and all [their] goods.
Don't be as KORAH to one another.
Beware of all idle talk and living and nothing of eternal value.
NOW BECAUSE OF WHAT WAS SAID IMMEIDIATLY ABOVE, PURPOSE IN YOUR HEARTS TO LIVE TOGETHER AS HEIRS OF HEAVEN AND HELP EACH OTHER IN YOUR JOURNEY TO THE CELESTIAL CITY - THE FOLLOWING DIRECTIONS, IF YOU WILL DO THEM, WILL MAKE YOU SPECIAL BLESSINGS TO EACH OTHER:
1. Before you can help your spouse to heaven, you must be sure of your own soul.
Genesis 2:18 And the LORD God said, [It is] not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
II Corinthians 13:5 Examine yourselves, whether ye be in the faith; prove your own selves. Know ye not your own selves, how that Jesus Christ is in you, except ye be reprobates?
Galatians 6:3 For if a man think himself to be something, when he is nothing, he deceiveth himself. But let every man prove his own work, and then shall he have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For every man shall bear his own burden.
Genesis 25:29 And Jacob sod pottage: and Esau came from the field, and he [was] faint: And Esau said to Jacob, Feed me, I pray thee, with that same red [pottage]; for I [am] faint: therefore was his name called Edom.
Genesis 25:34 Then Jacob gave Esau bread and pottage of lentiles; and he did eat and drink, and rose up, and went his way: thus Esau despised [his] birthright.
2. Take every opportunity to discuss together the things of God.
Colossians 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.
Hebrews 3:13 But exhort one another daily, while it is called To day; lest any of you be hardened through the deceitfulness of sin.
Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
3. Cherish the spiritual conversation of your spouse. Do not act in such a way as to discourage and silence their spiritual conversation.
Proverbs 27:6 Faithful [are] the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy [are] deceitful.
Proverbs 15:12 A scorner loveth not one that reproveth him: neither will he go unto the wise.
Proverbs 15:14 The heart of him that hath understanding seeketh knowledge: but the mouth of fools feedeth on foolishness.
Proverbs 15:31 The ear that heareth the reproof of life abideth among the wise.
Proverbs 15:32 He that refuseth instruction despiseth his own soul: but he that heareth reproof getteth understanding.
4. Know the souls and hearts of one another so that you may best be able best to help, exhort, and rebuke each other.
Hebrews 10:24 And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works:
5. Do not falsely flatter nor meanly criticize each other.
The following words from the Apostle Paul illustrate the above direction given to us by Richard Baxter. SPEAK THE TRUTH IN LOVE.
Ephesians 4:15 But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, [even] Christ:
Ephesians 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath: Neither give place to the devil. Let him that stole steal no more: but rather let him labour, working with [his] hands the thing which is good, that he may have to give to him that needeth. Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you. Be ye therefore followers of God, as dear children; And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling savour. But fornication, and all uncleanness, or covetousness, let it not be once named among you, as becometh saints; Neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor jesting, which are not convenient: but rather giving of thanks. For this ye know, that no whoremonger, nor unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, hath any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience. Be not ye therefore partakers with them. For ye were sometimes darkness, but now [are ye] light in the Lord: walk as children of light: (For the fruit of the Spirit [is] in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
6. Don't grow distant but keep your love constant. You will despise the correction, counsel, and reproof of a spouse to whom you have grown apart from.
7. Do not discourage your spouse's instruction by refusing to receive and learn from his/her corrections.
See again Prov 15:14, 15:32
Proverbs 29:1 He, that being often reproved hardeneth [his] neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy.
8. Help each other by reading together wholesome, holy words. The reading to these good books will work together with all your other efforts making it all more effective in your perfection and sanctification.
Ephesians 4:11-16 And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ: That we [henceforth] be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, [and] cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, [even] Christ: From whom the whole body fitly joined together and compacted by that which every joint supplieth, according to the effectual working in the measure of every part, maketh increase of the body unto the edifying of itself in love.
9. Do not hide your true spiritual condition for one another. You are to help each other and so it is important to know the true condition of each others souls.
James 5:16 Confess [your] faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.
Ephesians 5:27-32 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh. This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
10. Avoid different religious opinions as much as is possible and right before God.
11. Manage your religious differences with holiness and humility.
12. Do not be either blindly indulgent nor overly critical of one another's spiritual condition.
13. If married to an ungodly person still give them all the love that is due to them and because this is right in a marriage before God.
I Corinthians 7:13-14 And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy.
14. Pray together and pray secretly, pray frequently.
15. Help each other by living a holy life before one another.
I Peter 3:1 Likewise, ye wives, [be] in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;
John 13:15 For I have given you an example, that ye should do as I have done to you.
I Timothy 4:12 Let no man despise thy youth; but be thou an example of the believers, in word, in conversation, in charity, in spirit, in faith, in purity.
I Corinthians 11:1 Be ye followers of me, even as I also [am] of Christ.
I Thessalonians 1:6 And ye became followers of us, and of the Lord, having received the word in much affliction, with joy of the Holy Ghost:
II Thessalonians 3:7 For yourselves know how ye ought to follow us: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you;
II Thessalonians 3:7-9 For yourselves know how ye ought to follow us: for we behaved not ourselves disorderly among you; Neither did we eat any man's bread for nought; but wrought with labour and travail night and day, that we might not be chargeable to any of you: Not because we have not power, but to make ourselves an ensample unto you to follow us.
Titus 2:6 Young men likewise exhort to be sober minded. In all things shewing thyself a pattern of good works: in doctrine [shewing] uncorruptness, gravity, sincerity, Sound speech, that cannot be condemned; that he that is of the contrary part may be ashamed, having no evil thing to say of you.
James 3:17 But the wisdom that is from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, [and] easy to be intreated, full of mercy and good fruits, without partiality, and without hypocrisy.
II Peter 1:5-8 And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make [you that ye shall] neither [be] barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.
HAVING COMPLETED THE ABOVE DIRECTIONS THAT WILL IF PRACTICED MAKE YOU SPECIAL BLESSINGS TO ONE ANOTHER WE PROCEED WITH THE SEVENTH MAIN INSTUCTION:
SEVENTHLY, YOU SHOULD HELP AND CARE FOR EACH OTHERS BODIES.
1. In health provide for one another wholesome food and keep from one another that which would be hurtful to the body. Warn one another against gluttony and idleness the two great murders of mankind.
I Corinthians 6:19 What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost [which is] in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?
Deuteronomy 21:20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son [is] stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; [he is] a glutton, and a drunkard.
Proverbs 23:21 For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe [a man] with rags.
Proverbs 19:15 Slothfulness casteth into a deep sleep; and an idle soul shall suffer hunger.
Proverbs 6:9 How long wilt thou sleep, O sluggard? when wilt thou arise out of thy sleep?
Proverbs 10:4 He becometh poor that dealeth [with] a slack hand: but the hand of the diligent maketh rich. He that gathereth in summer [is] a wise son: [but] he that sleepeth in harvest [is] a son that causeth shame.
Proverbs 19:24 A slothful [man] hideth his hand in [his] bosom, and will not so much as bring it to his mouth again.
Proverbs 20:13 Love not sleep, lest thou come to poverty; open thine eyes, [and] thou shalt be satisfied with bread.
Proverbs 23:21 For the drunkard and the glutton shall come to poverty: and drowsiness shall clothe [a man] with rags.
Proverbs 24:33 [Yet] a little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to sleep:
Isaiah 56:10 His watchmen [are] blind: they are all ignorant, they [are] all dumb dogs, they cannot bark; sleeping, lying down, loving to slumber.
I Timothy 5:13 And withal they learn [to be] idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.
II Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.
2. In sickness care and comfort one another. It is your duty, it is love.
Ephesians 5:29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
Job 19:17 My breath is strange to my wife, though I entreated for the children's [sake] of mine own body.
EIGHTHLY, IT IS THE DUTY OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES TO HELP EACH OTHER IN THEIR WORLDY BUSNESSES. NOT FOR WORLDLY GOALS, OR FROM A WORLDLY MINDSET, BUT IN OBEDIENCE TO GOD.
SEE ALL OF PROV 31
Titus 2:5 [To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
I Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
I Timothy 5:8 But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.
Exodus 20:9 Six days shalt thou labour, and do all thy work:
Exodus 20:11 For [in] six days the LORD made heaven and earth, the sea, and all that in them [is], and rested the seventh day: wherefore the LORD blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it.
Genesis 3:19 In the sweat of thy face shalt thou eat bread, till thou return unto the ground; for out of it wast thou taken: for dust thou [art], and unto dust shalt thou return.
II Thessalonians 3:10 For even when we were with you, this we commanded you, that if any would not work, neither should he eat.
II Thessalonians 3:12 Now them that are such we command and exhort by our Lord Jesus Christ, that with quietness they work, and eat their own bread.
NINTHLY, YOU MUST GUARD THE REPUTATION OF YOUR SPOUSE. DO NOT DIVULGE THEIR WEAKNESSES TO OTHERS. DO NOT BELITTLE THEM IN YOUR CONVERSATIONS WITH OTHER MEN OR OTHER WOMEN. THEY ARE ONE FLESH WITH YOU, YOU DISHONOUR YOURSELF WHEN YOU DISHONOUR YOUR SPOUSE.
James 4:11 Speak not evil one of another, brethren. He that speaketh evil of [his] brother, and judgeth his brother, speaketh evil of the law, and judgeth the law: but if thou judge the law, thou art not a doer of the law, but a judge.
Proverbs 17:9 He that covereth a transgression seeketh love; but he that repeateth a matter separateth [very] friends.
I Peter 4:8 And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.
TENTHLY, IT IS YOUR DUTY IN MARRIAGE TO ASSIST ONE ANOTHER IN THE EDUCATION OF YOUR CHILDREN. IT IS THE DUTY OF BOTH THE FATHER AND THE MOTHER.
Genesis 18:19 For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.
Genesis 35:2 Then Jacob said unto his household, and to all that [were] with him, Put away the strange gods that [are] among you, and be clean, and change your garments:
Joshua 24:14 Now therefore fear the LORD, and serve him in sincerity and in truth: and put away the gods which your fathers served on the other side of the flood, and in Egypt; and serve ye the LORD.
I Timothy 5:14 I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.
Proverbs 31:1 The words of king Lemuel, the prophecy that his mother taught him.
ELEVENTHLY, IT IS YOUR DUTY IN MARRIAGE TO ASSIST EACH OTHER IN GOOD WORKS OF CHARITY.
Hebrews 13:2 Be not forgetful to entertain strangers: for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.
Genesis 18:6 And Abraham hastened into the tent unto Sarah, and said, Make ready quickly three measures of fine meal, knead [it], and make cakes upon the hearth. ........ (AND MORE)
Romans 12:13 Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.
II Corinthians 9:6 But this [I say], He which soweth sparingly shall reap also sparingly; and he which soweth bountifully shall reap also bountifully.
Luke 16:9 And I say unto you, Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations.
I Timothy 3:2 A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;
I Timothy 5:10 Well reported of for good works; if she have brought up children, if she have lodged strangers, if she have washed the saints' feet, if she have relieved the afflicted, if she have diligently followed every good work.
Proverbs 11:20 They that are of a froward heart [are] abomination to the LORD: but [such as are] upright in [their] way [are] his delight.
Proverbs 11:28 He that trusteth in his riches shall fall: but the righteous shall flourish as a branch.
Nehemiah 8:1 And all the people gathered themselves together as one man into the street that [was] before the water gate; and they spake unto Ezra the scribe to bring the book of the law of Moses, which the LORD had commanded to Israel.
Proverbs 19:17 He that hath pity upon the poor lendeth unto the LORD; and that which he hath given will he pay him again.
Job 29:13 The blessing of him that was ready to perish came upon me: and I caused the widow's heart to sing for joy.
Job 31:20 If his loins have not blessed me, and [if] he were [not] warmed with the fleece of my sheep;
Acts 20:35 I have shewed you all things, how that so labouring ye ought to support the weak, and to remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he said, It is more blessed to give than to receive.
TWELTHLY, IT IS A GREAT MUTUAL DUTY OF HUSBANDS AND WIVES TO HELP, COMFORT AND PREPARE ONE ANOTHER FOR A SAFE AND HAPPY DEATH.
COMFORTABLE COUNSELS IN PREPARATION FOR DEATH:
Deuteronomy 32:29 O that they were wise, [that] they understood this, [that] they would consider their latter end!
Psalms 39:4 LORD, make me to know mine end, and the measure of my days, what it [is; that] I may know how frail I [am].
Psalms 90:12 So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom.
Romans 14:8 For whether we live, we live unto the Lord; and whether we die, we die unto the Lord: whether we live therefore, or die, we are the Lord's.
Hebrews 13:14 For here have we no continuing city, but we seek one to come.
I Peter 1:17 And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man's work, pass the time of your sojourning [here] in fear:
Psalms 31:5 Into thine hand I commit my spirit: thou hast redeemed me, O LORD God of truth.
Psalms 37:37 Mark the perfect [man], and behold the upright: for the end of [that] man [is] peace.
Psalms 49:15 But God will redeem my soul from the power of the grave: for he shall receive me. Selah.
Psalms 73:24 Thou shalt guide me with thy counsel, and afterward receive me [to] glory.
Psalms 116:15 Precious in the sight of the LORD [is] the death of his saints.
Proverbs 14:32 The wicked is driven away in his wickedness: but the righteous hath hope in his death.
Ecclesiastes 7:1 A good name [is] better than precious ointment; and the day of death than the day of one's birth.
Luke 16:22 And it came to pass, that the beggar died, and was carried by the angels into Abraham's bosom: the rich man also died, and was buried;
Luke 23:43 And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.
I Corinthians 15:51-57 Behold, I shew you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed, In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal [must] put on immortality. So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written, Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where [is] thy sting? O grave, where [is] thy victory? The sting of death [is] sin; and the strength of sin [is] the law. But thanks [be] to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.
II Corinthians 5:1 For we know that if our earthly house of [this] tabernacle were dissolved, we have a building of God, an house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens.
II Corinthians 5:4 For we that are in [this] tabernacle do groan, being burdened: not for that we would be unclothed, but clothed upon, that mortality might be swallowed up of life.
II Corinthians 5:8 We are confident, [I say], and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.
Philippians 1:20 According to my earnest expectation and [my] hope, that in nothing I shall be ashamed, but [that] with all boldness, as always, [so] now also Christ shall be magnified in my body, whether [it be] by life, or by death. For to me to live [is] Christ, and to die [is] gain. But if I live in the flesh, this [is] the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not. For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better:
I Thessalonians 5:9 For God hath not appointed us to wrath, but to obtain salvation by our Lord Jesus Christ, Who died for us, that, whether we wake or sleep, we should live together with him.
II Peter 1:11 For so an entrance shall be ministered unto you abundantly into the everlasting kingdom of our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.
II Peter 1:14 Knowing that shortly I must put off [this] my tabernacle, even as our Lord Jesus Christ hath shewed me.
Revelation 14:13 And I heard a voice from heaven saying unto me, Write, Blessed [are] the dead which die in the Lord from henceforth: Yea, saith the Spirit, that they may rest from their labours; and their works do follow them.
Psalms 23:4 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou [art] with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.